“We can only love another being as much as we love ourselves.”
When I read this statement I stopped in my tracks, my mind finally had the answer I was waiting for.
Why was I so full of love for someone who could never return the abundance I desired?
Someone who had caused my heart more pain than I ever thought possible to feel.
Some time ago I had found a love within me, so pure and strong and I shared that unconditional love with another being for the first time. The feeling of sharing my love was more satisfying than keeping it to myself. I was addicted to the feeling of love, being love, giving love and receiving love.
Then there came a time when I gave love but no longer received love and I hit a wall in my mind. My inner child found insecurity, jealousy, depression and anger. The divine goddess in me withered away to become a servant for a master that desired more than I could possibly give.
I have spent months learning and growing, nurturing my inner being to become the strong goddess that I once was before. Through the many months of pain and misery it amused me to feel that my abundance of love never left. How could I feel such utter despair but still react with pure love?
I was grateful for the pain, despair, misery, depression that had been cast over my path like a grey rain cloud. Each day I would walk through the woodlands where I lived and I would list the many things I was grateful to that being for. The list was endless and I would pray to the heavens 'Thankyou for blessing me with the last 2 years of life!' for experiencing a relationship and love that I never knew before.
Alas, even through my gratitude and love, the pain became unbearable. Like a physical rip in my heart, I could feel the blood gushing out, a river of endless pain. Even after I had no more tears to cry, I grew breathless trying to release the hurt and console myself in other ways.
My saviour would be the only thing that had never left me, the one thing that remained strong and constant. My saviour would be love.
“We can only love another being as much as we love ourselves”
My inner divine being was bursting with love to share, but my heart was not open to receiving.
I attended a 5 hour meditation, cacao and song group in San Marcos on Lake Atitlan, Guatemala. The event was hosted by a combination of extremely powerful energies who individually were masters of many spiritual practices and together they led our group of over 40 people through an incredible multidimensional, spiritual practice.
The instruments, sounds, exercises, guided meditations and song worked their magic in unblocking stagnant energy pathways, balancing the chakras, and releasing emotion stored deep down - which had each person including myself in tears at one point. The combination of our leaders and the powerful heart opening cacao they served had every sister and brother in that room exploring places deep within our being and connecting to the divine self.. the true essence of what we all are, LOVE!
I never knew my heart chakra had a unique sound, but with their help I found her voice and shared my hearts “Aum” with my new friend sat beside me.
Facing each other.
Looking into the energy and vibration of the being in front of me.
We shared our hearts voices with one another, forcing my heart to openly receive as much vibrational love as I could give.
If nothing is a solid form, not you, nor me, nor a tree! What are we but cells of energy tightly compacted together to form masses of energy.
We are all vibrating, projecting an energy that we create through our emotions and mental wellness.
Everything is energy!
We can create our own reality with the vibration we project. Your internal vibration creates your external reality, reality is just a vibration.
The voice is a vibration, allowing us to infiltrate every cell of ourselves and each other.
I have healed my metaphorical wounds more in the last 2 weeks than in the past 6 months.
Directing loving vibrations to the imbalanced cells of energy, balancing and cleansing my chakras and releasing emotional blockages through song, dance and meditative bliss.
Love is the only way. Love is all we are. You are love, I am love, everything is love!
I am so happy to be on this beautiful path of love, compassion and spirituality.
I’m excited to share my story and journey with you, thankyou for reading.
The Cherry Orchard
Jay Barton & Mike NME61